Puzzling Things Out

Getting all up in one's feels...

A watercolor puzzle of a Japanese tea garden. Spot the missing piece :P

Today I tried entering a Speed Puzzling competition. My goal was to finish in under an hour… but first the Zoom host had to learn how to enable the autocaptions and transcript for the call. The usual accessibility shenanigans.

We started a little late. The picture seemed pretty — piece of cake, right?

I started by sorting the pieces into groups. It’s a good way to become familiar with the puzzle. Some people got right into putting together the border. I went for the people first, as their colorful shapes are distinctive. Next, I went for the border, and then for the pagodas… then I became overwhelmed with all the plants.

One of the important things to understand about ADHD is that the wiring in the frontal lobe that causes impulsive behavior also affects emotional regulation. It is very easy to become frustrated when things aren’t working right. I felt discouraged. My inner critic poured fuel on the fire: “I’ll never finish this puzzle! I’m a terrible puzzler!” It was tempting to release my internal pressure by splattering the pieces on a nearby wall, but no… deep breaths.

The Zoom call finished at the one hour point, leaving those of us left to puzzle on our own. The host said that the design was more challenging than normal, which did help lower my frustration. I kept looking at the patterns to spot unusual elements. The image started to fill in with increasing speed as things began to make sense.

I finished at 1 hour and 29 minutes. It’s not quite a record, and my feelings are still a bit raw over the whole thing.

When I’m working with a comic, it often feels like putting together a puzzle. Over the years I’ve realized there’s usually a point where the pieces are half there and I’m all up in my feels. The sensation is like slogging through the mud. I used to give up very easily, because I mistakenly thought that there was something wrong with me if things got hard.

It took a long time and hundreds of comics to learn that increased difficulty doesn’t mean something is wrong. There are some situations where a loud inner critic makes things harder than they should be, and others where it’s normal to slog through the mud. Likewise, some projects finish with a sense of joy and accomplishment, and others finish with our emotions crackling. We see them all through to the best of our ability.

Meanwhile, I’m glad I at least tried something new. After some time to recover, I might try again — or take a different approach…!

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Current Hyperfixation:

Pencil sketch of Audrey Hepburn as Eliza.

My Fair Lady - check out my recent videos about it at Tiktok or Instagram!